OLDFIELD PETITION SUCCESSFUL!
ROSEBURG, ORE. (SUFFL) -- From Yao Ming to Dirk Nowitzki, David Broder to George Will, Andy Rumbaugh to
Willie McHargue, The Eye Candy to The Plaque ... concerned SUFFL citizens from
the four corners of the Earth came together as one this past spring and summer
to utter a plea for joy.
Their passionate, self-sacrificial efforts were not in vain: Scott Oldfield has
agreed to be present in Los Angeles for the 8th annual 2002 SUFFL Draft on
August 31. "To see this art practiced firsthand ... I feel reborn," Oldfield
uttered through trembling lips. "I long to rejoin my brothers."
Some 55 petitioners placed their national reputations on the line -- that is,
online -- to collectively urge Oldfield to make the trip.
"I am thrilled and a bit baffled by the large number and diversity of folks who
signed the petition. I extend my heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of
them. And to the SUFFL.com staff for their support," said Andy McHargue,
"I'm not sure how to prepare for the draft now -- I've always prepared alone,
with the intention of drafting alone, and managing the team alone, with the
knowledge that yes, a silent partner was lurking like a fickle breeze, now
blowing, now still; as inaccessible as intangible," mused a pseudo-poetic
Oldfield has been more than a tad incommunicado during the first three years of
the McHargue-Oldfield partnership. His appearance at the draft may serve as a
catalyst for further involvement.
"His presence may require a change to the team name," McHargue added, in
reference to the apellation "Naptime" coined by the owners prior to the 2000
season. "The time for napping is past. It's time to wake up and draft a
football team! And drafting isn't the end; I can already feel the Plaque's
cool metallic plates on my fingertips!"
Oldfield joined SUFFL in 1998 while in the clutches of the U.S. Army. After a
disappointing season in which he bettered only three-time SUFFL doormat Dave
Kern, Oldfield teamed with McHargue in following the lead of SUFFL's first
co-ownership, John Vampatella and Raj Patel. The result was a promising fourth
After two seasons in which mid-season leads gave way to late season
frustrations, Naptime is poised for victory. "I figure now is the time to act;
Andy has a new baby coming, and there's a good chance he'll smear a dirty
diaper on his computer monitor when things start going south. When that
happens, I'll be there to keep our squad together."