Four weeks into the 2000 season, two of the better franchises last year are stumbling over themselves, trying to figure out where they've gone astray from the deals that put them at the top in 1999.

Lisa Holbrook, led by Gar Ryness and Anthony Calhoun are official basement dwellars. Upon another pathetic week 4 performance, AC was overheard saying, "It's Gar's fault, he drafted James Stewart." Gar has said more than once it was AC's decision of draft Keyshawn Johnson that has hurt them. "King needs to throw Keyshawn the &$@* ball." Bill Bright was unavailable for reaction to Gar's comment.

The defending SUFFL champ, STLJ, has also had struggles. Their inability to trade with Dave Kern has had a direct affect on their demise. With a QB roster of McNair, McNabb, McNown, McDonald's, McDowell's, and MacGyver, team STLJ has had more success with hamburgers and ducktape than TD's. JR in another famous press conference said "We like our chances still, given that historically we've been near the bottom after week 4. We're just used to seeing Goodwin down here as well." KK chimed in, "I love Maria...go Giants!"

It should be an interesting next couple of weeks as all teams chase the current leader, Pathetic No Names, in pursuit of the SUFFL plaque.

-JG, 9/28/00